Women Can’t Win

Posted June 10, 2016 by Prairie Wife - 14 comments

Lucky you readers, you get an extra post today! But, before I continue, I have to forewarn you that this post is going to be a bit of a rant.

It’s Summer.

As I wrote yesterday, Summer to me means spending time outside. Sometimes with my kids, sometimes ignoring them as I read a good book…but for me it’s all about soaking up some rays (with sunscreen on of course) and enjoying the beautiful Wyoming weather.

Each Summer the Cowkids and I head to our local state park for fun in the sand, water, and sun.

It’s a weekly Summer event and tons of fun for us, and whoever choses to join us.

beach picYesterday I threw on my bikini and spent almost an hour doing all the things a mom of five children must do to spend three hours at the beach.

Once there we had a blast!

One of our friends showed up with her two kids and it was a lovely time (to quote Mary Poppins who also came along)!

Like most modern women I posted a pic of my day at the beach with my babies on Facebook.

I didn’t think much about it…just posted it and went on with my day.

But then…oh but then…

The next day I received a private message (from a friend of a friend who is going to feel bad when she reads this, which I feel bad about).

To summarize it, she said she’d been praying for me with my preventive mastectomy (so nice), was happy to see how well I was doing (once again that’s nice), mentioned she was at the beach too (OK), and asked where I do Yoga.

I answered in the typical ways and directed her to my fav local Yoga studio.

Then it happened…

She told me I should look into a new beach body workout, that I would love it.


I get that she’s trying to make money by adding me to her customer list, which I can’t blame her for. Also, I do often chat about running and yoga and how it helps me stay fit (and gives me a break from the Cowkids) but let me tell you how the message came across to me.

“Hi, I know you had major surgery a few weeks ago, I know you work out, I saw a picture of you with your kids in a bikini, you could look better if you did what I do.”

Once again I know she didn’t mean to send that message (don’t feel bad if you read this seriously this has been brewing for a while now).

And let’s be honest, I may be feeling a little more self-conscious than usual right now.

After all, I’m a mom with five kids whose gained and lost almost 200lb over the last decade, which takes a toll on the body…

And I did just CHOP MY TITS OFF a month ago and am now currently sporting rock hard lopsided playdough boobs.

But, I put a bikini picture up online to show people look, get out there, live your life, who cares how you look or what your body has been through, celebrate, have fun!

Let’s add to that by saying medically I am a bit underweight for my height and I have a six pack (not bragging just being honest)…and still I hear the message…I need to work harder…I can still look better…

I mean what the hell kind of standards are we all trying to live up to?!

Even if I was 100lb over my goal weight in the pic, would it be OK for someone to focus on that rather than the fact that I am the awesome mom who got all my kids (who are seriously happy in the pic) out of the house and enjoying a fabulous day together at the beach?!

woman screamingWomen can’t win!

We can’t.

There will always be someone bigger or skinnier, smarter or prettier, stronger or with a better car, nicer children or a cleaner house.

And there will ALWAYS be someone willing to remind you of all of the above, even if it’s just the little voice in your head.

So guess what I took away from all this?

If we can’t win any way, we might as well enjoy the hell out of our lives.

I’ve been a bit nervous about how my breasts look in clothes lately…no more.

I had Cowboy C stand in front of my legs in the pic so no one would see my thighs (which I’ve always hated)…forget that.

I’m rocking my body and thanking God that it and all of its real and imagined flaws woke up today.

My kids will never remember my stomach or boobs from that pic but instead, will remember building a moat in the sand, catching fish, and eating hot peanut butter and honey sandwiches under the shade of a 100 year old Cottonwood tree.

Now take a second to turn up the volume, grab your kids, and rock out to my current power song!

Join me ladies, let’s live our lives!

Note: I think it goes without saying but, all I did to these pics was add a filter.

Copyright: jaykayl / 123RF Stock Photo

Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published.

14 thoughts on "Women Can’t Win"

  1. Jenn B says:

    Girl, you look f*#!ing amazing. Way to rock it. Here’s to your fabulous spirit, your beautiful family, an awesome summer, and your continued recovery.

    1. Prairie Wife says:

      Thank you, thank you and thank you 🙂

  2. Chas says:

    100% agree with Jen you looking f*#!ing amazing. Absolutely love your family. 🙂

    1. Prairie Wife says:

      Love you too…hope you take the message to heart 🙂

  3. Anonymous says:

    Cathy. Well said. You are one STUNNER! Don’t let anyone get you down. You are one of the strongest women I Know (inc my Cathy Holman.) It must be a Holman thing. You have a heart of gold and the strength of an ox. To be fair it doesn’t matter really what we look like on the outside., so long as you have a good heart and soul. In any event you definitely have the full package anyway…… You cow bitch bag 😉 haha xx

    1. Prairie Wife says:

      LOL I am totally using “cow bitch bag” as my new insult! And I agree, the inner is more valuable…after all we will all be wrinkly dried our prairie hags eventually 😉

  4. Ma says:

    I blame the parents for your attitude…AMEN.

  5. College BFF says:

    The biggest thing I take out of this is let’s raise our girls to win! To be at least 90% happy with theirselves and to be able to take comments like that In stride and not have to prove anything. You are amazing and I have lots to learn from you and your positivity.

  6. Karen says:

    Ummm–I haven’t had a major surgery, I do yoga and run at least 4-5 times a week, and I still can’t remember the last time I’ve seen my abs. You look amazing, and would still look amazing even if you didn’t have that awesome bod! I’ve been discouraged by my very slow metabolism and jiggly bits, but at the end of the day, like you, I am healthy and happy; as cliche as it is, that’s all that matters! When will healthy and happy be the new skinny??!!

  7. Erica says:

    Omgoodness! I ❤️ You!!! You go girl!

  8. MelissaN says:

    You look beautiful and I always admire your confidence and every once in awhile the world needs to be reminded to focus on what really important. Keep rockin that bikini!

  9. Dyani Jaime says:

    Amen sister!! Rock it! You are fabulous inside and out!!

Categories: Life As It Happens

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , ,


* indicates required