What Every New Mom Needs to Hear

Posted May 24, 2014 by Prairie Wife - 2 comments

Whether or not you are male or female, planning on having children or not, read this…and then share it with all your friends. Because chances are at some point you are going to have someone you know and care about, that will be having a new baby, and she will need to hear this. I don’t care if it’s your first baby or your fifth; every new mom has that day (usually around four weeks postpartum) when they are exhausted, unwashed, sore, hormonal, and usually covered in at least one body fluid that isn’t theirs, and they feel that they simply cannot go on.

When that day happens to me, I usually put the baby in the bouncy chair, hit the shower, and have a good long cry. When the tears are gone, it’s time for some positive self-talk and deep breathing. A clean hoodie and a fresh pair of sweats, along with a cup of tea, and I’m ready to face the world. I’ve got one friend who has called me after each baby in tears, and I always say the same thing… even though she knows the speech (having heard it three times), there is something about hearing it from someone else who you know loves you that makes it stick. Now I’ve made it no secret that I believe in God, and there are some parts of my “New Mom Speech” that goes along with my belief. Feel free to remove those parts if you have a new mom who wouldn’t appreciate it.

After you ask your friend how she is and give her a moment to vent all her tears, fears, exhaustion, and anger, it’s your turn to step in with your words of love and wisdom…PS It works just as well over text and e-mail (even Facebook)

“New Mom Speech”

First, take a deep breath. You’ve got this! You can do this. Right now is hard, and I know that it feels like you will never sleep, eat a warm meal or see your husband (or partner) again. The truth is, it will probably be a few months before that happens. It’s OK, though, because you can handle it. I promise you this is just right now. It’s not forever. You have to be patient with yourself and your baby. You guys have just met! Think how long it took you to figure out what made your husband (or partner) happy or angry and how to make him (or her) feel better when they were upset. Give yourself time to learn about who your baby is and what they need.

You were given this baby because God knew that you were the perfect mother for this child. You are the one He chose. God knew you would give your baby everything they needed to become the person God created them to be. You can do this, and even on the days when you are struggling, when the baby is screaming, and you are covered in pee and spit up, you are doing an amazing job because you aren’t giving up. You are loving that baby and trying your hardest, and that‘s all your baby needs.

You are in survival mode right now. All you should worry about is keeping yourself and that baby fed and sleeping when you can. Forget about the house, and don’t worry about how your hair looks or if you paid enough attention to your husband (or partner). Turn your phone off during sleep time and put a big sign on the door (keep it up for the next four months) that says, “New Baby and Mom sleeping, come back later!” Keep on going, and in those quiet moments when you are holding your finally sleeping baby, take a deep breath and know that you are enough.

Add on for mothers with other kids-Remember you did this before, and you can do it again. Don’t worry about how much TV and video game time the other kids have…you are in survival mode, and a few weeks (OK, months) of a ton of screen time won’t undo all the excellent work you’ve already done. They genuinely don’t care if they eat cold cereal, hot dogs, and PBJ every meal for a month. And if your husband (or partner) does care, they can make dinner! Put those kids to work helping, and if you doze off while snuggling and watching Frozen at 9 am, don’t worry…they won’t tell anyone.

Don’t forget to check out our list of ways you can (really) help a new mom!

What helps you when you’ve just had a baby?

Categories: Life As It Happens, Parenting

Tags: , depression, family, motherhood, new mom, postpartum, pregnancy and babies, Speech, support