How To: Camoflauge Uneven Breasts

Posted June 22, 2016 by Prairie Wife - 4 comments

I’m no stranger to uneven breasts.

Growing up my “original” set was never perfectly even, but as a barely-there B, it wasn’t too big of a deal. A few years into my 20’s, I became pregnant and then a nursing mother. The result of this was constantly changing breasts…10 years and five kids later, I’ve recently undergone a preventive mastectomy. In the last seven weeks, I have gone from a AA long to smushed and dented cliff boobs to play dough boobs that are solid, protruding, uneven, and a size 32 D/DD. I am thankfully 120% happy with the final result, but it was one heck of a process to get there!

I don’t want to call myself an expert, but I can honestly say I’m gotten pretty darn good at learning to camouflage uneven breasts in the last decade. Summertime offers its own special challenges because you can’t simply put on a few extra layers or a sweater or hoodie to camouflage the girls. Below I’ve collected a few key pieces that help me feel comfortable and confident whenever I wear them. Make sure you follow us on Pinterest to get more style inspiration!

camoflauge uneven breasts

Chambray Top: This fabric is loose and comfortable. It skims over your body, but it doesn’t cling to any lumps or bumps. The lighter wash says Summer and goes with anything and everything. From dark loose boyfriend jeans to cute white shorts, or even a flowy pink skirt, this top is one of my go-to pieces.

Silicone Nipple Covers: These are a necessity for me. Because of my surgery and expanders, my nipples are always sticking out. Many bras rub sore spots on my skin, so this is a great way for me to help hide my nipples as well as the flat front of my breasts. They allow me to wear tops and dresses with no worries about modesty. The brand I have (and love) are DIMRS, not the ones shown here. I can’t tell you if they are comfortable or not because I have no feeling at all in my breasts…but I CAN tell you they stay on all day long. Picking up kids and all the other movement and rubbing that comes with motherhood has never made them slip.

Scarves: This is a great way to look chic and cover up uneven breasts with little to no effort. A cute scarf can add color and sass to any outfit. With an infinite variety of patterns and lightweight textures available at almost any store, you’re sure to find one that matches your personality.

Bralettes: Not only are lace bralettes super trendy, but for camouflaging uneven breasts, they are amazing! Simply slip a cute, lightly padded one on under your favorite gray t-shirt, and you’ll be comfortable and covered. The higher cut and lace help camouflage any lumps and bumps, and the bit of lace peeking out from your v-neck shirt look both sweet and sexy.

Printed Tops: A well-chosen printed top tricks the eye and camouflages uneven breasts. I’ve found that the size of the patterns doesn’t matter as much as the placement. So, make sure you try your top on before you buy it (stripes generally don’t work well). I love this romper! Not only does it have a great print, but you can wear a lace bralette under it, AND it’s made of a flowy fabric that will accentuate your curves but not cling to them.

High Neck Halter Bikini: When I went bikini shopping after my last fill, it was a bit of a struggle to find something that worked. I needed padding to hide my unevenness and nipples, but the padding had to be soft and flexible to cover up my solid, protruding play dough breasts. Push-up bras and bandeau styles were a no-go. I do have a triangle top that works OK, but this style is the best! Not only does it cover up any divets and lumps I have in my upper chest, it stays on while I frolic with my kids on the sand. With no nerves in my chest, I can’t feel when a suit slips, so something that stays up well and won’t shift is a must. The added benefit of a pattern helps to trick the eye and will allow you to live your life and have fun in the sun! Note: There are also some super cute sports bra styles that look great as well.

Do you have any tips for camouflaging uneven breasts?

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4 thoughts on "How To: Camoflauge Uneven Breasts"

  1. Bennie says:

    I can’t say I’ve ever given this any thought. I guess mine are pretty even? I like and agree with all of your ideas. The scarf is especially a good idea since you can wear them in many styles and a printed top will be a good detractor.

    Hopefully you get and share more ideas from today’s blog.

    1. Prairie Wife says:

      Glad you’ve got great breasts 😉 and thanks…me too!

  2. Elizabeth Jesse Soden says:

    I have just undergone a double mastectomy. The style I always loved is simple smooth and loose fitting tops. I like my clothes that I already have and there is no way I can afford a new wardrobe. Love all your suggestions, especially the scarves as I really love them normally..
    What I had never heard of before and like as welll is having the lace bralettes .

    1. Prairie Wife says:

      I still use the lace bralettes all the time now, so it was definitely worth the small cost to buy a few!

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