Why Is It SO Hard To Have The Perfect Mother’s Day?

Posted May 6, 2022 by Prairie Wife -

Why is it SO hard to have the perfect Mother’s Day?

Look, I don’t claim to have an actual answer for this…and for that, I apologize.

Rather than the usual style of posts we write around here where I share a problem, and offer support and solutions…I fear that this is going to be more of a venting/apologizing/rambling/commiserating free-form post.

First I want to send a heartfelt hug to all of you that may be struggling with Mother’s Day for reasons that are hard for others to understand.

Those of you that have struggled with infertility, the loss of a pregnancy, a severely ill child, or have experienced the death of a child. Mothers that have strained relationships with their children, children that have strained relationships with their mothers. Those of you that have lost your mothers, single mothers by choice or unforeseen circumstances, or those of you that have chosen not to be mothers and have loved ones who don’t understand.

You are not alone. Do what you need to do (as long as it isn’t harmful to you or others) to get through the day.

Next, I have to say with complete and 100% honesty to all the people (most likely men but I don’t want to assume) that are trying to create the perfect Mother’s Day, I’M SORRY.

Because the truth is you really can’t win.

I obviously can’t officially speak for ALL Mothers out there, nor do I have any statistical information that I’ve collected to base this opinion on.

But, I feel fairly confident based on the hundreds of conversations I’ve had with various Mothers in my life through the years that I am NOT alone in what I’m about to say.

As a mother with 5 children, Mother’s Day has been a battle for The Cowboy from the very first one.

We can all agree that he really messed that whole thing up by abandoning me in a hotel room with a 2-month-old while he went fishing for an entire day.

He clearly didn’t even try.

And me saying it was an epic FAIL is not anything anyone would likely argue about.

As we added more sweet little Cowkids to our brood it became harder for The Cowboy to navigate my needs and wants for this day.

After all, how can you make sure that an exhausted mother is both rained down upon with love and adoration and completely left alone in peace and quiet so she can recharge her drained batteries and enjoy the one thing she never seems to get…time to only worry about herself?

Breakfast in bed with gifts is sweet as heck BUT

• It better be after 7:00 am
• No posting pictures of her looking like a hot mess crying about the handmade cards
• Clean up the mess you’ve left in the kitchen

What about hosting an event for ALL the moms in your life?

• How does this work for the moms that would rather be at home in jammies and chill all day?
• Who is cleaning the house and where it will be hosted?
• Who is making the food and cleaning up afterward?
• Please make sure none of the moms have to do any work (that includes planning and communicating the plan)

How about a hotel room for the weekend?

• Will she feel sad and alone when she wakes up on Mother’s Day without her adoring family?
• Are you going to spend the whole time being the super fun parent and she’ll feel like she missed out?
• Will you be calling the entire time asking where things are and ruining her zen?

Gift Certificates to the spa/salon/local self-care place are wonderful BUT

• Will you provide childcare so she can go?
• When she asks if she can book her appointment will you make it a big deal you’re helping her make it happen?
• Is it somewhere she actually will enjoy going to?

Family traditions for Mother’s Day are nice…if the traditions still serve your family.

Be okay with change, and be willing to go to bat for your wife if she begs you to simply let her stay home in her jammies rather than shower and get the kids all dressed up for brunch at Grandma’s house.

As far as gift-giving, that one is up to you!

It’s so personal that I don’t even want to try and guess what will put a smile on her face!

I did write a post recently about my robot vacuum and how much I love it, but even that caused a bit of controversy when I suggested it as a gift.

Handmade Gifts from the kids are for sure a win, but maybe pair them with a thoughtfully bought gift as well.

In recent years we’ve begun the tradition of going on a Mother’s Day late morning/early afternoon hike as a family.

It’s one of my favorite things to do, and something we struggle to find time for.

It can of course go horribly wrong (bad weather, Cowkids fighting, getting lost on dirt roads etc) but I love the effort and thought that goes into The Cowboy packing a picnic and choosing what trail to take.

AND the Cowkids know that they HAVE to take as many pictures as I want without any complaining!

Why is it SO hard to have the perfect Mother’s Day?

Probably because just like motherhood itself, things are always changing, you never know how anyone is going to feel at any given moment, and there are a whole lot of uncontrollable factors.

BUT just like Motherhood itself, chances are, if you try your hardest and have the best of intentions…It’ll all turn out just fine in the end.

Photo Credit Krystal Brewer Photography

Categories: Parenting, Prairie Life

Tags: , marriage, Mother's Day, Mother's Day ideas, struggles with mothers day, support for mothers, why is mothers day hard