I’ll Sleep on the Operating Table

Posted March 23, 2016 by Prairie Wife - 5 comments

Despite embracing the chaos over the last month, I’ve found that the chaos has been trying to eat me alive. I’ve been more relaxed and cheerful towards my kids but, the truth is I’m still completely overwhelmed. I didn’t realize all the doctors appointments and extra things that would come up with my choice to have a Preventive Mastectomy. I’ve had at least two doctors appointments a week this month, and yesterday I had a small surgery (endometrial ablation) that I knew would mean two days of time lost…

Living 30 minutes away from the doctor and having five kids makes it way more complicated than it should be. I’ve only been receiving at most, a weeks notice that I need to have these appointments. Not only do I need to find a sitter for the two littlest Cowkids (these are all appointments they can’t come to) but, I have to add travel time to get them to and from the sitter, then figure out how I can get the older Cowkids from school on time. I have the most supportive friends ever who have been helping when they can but, they have lives and kids too, and I can’t have them watching my kids and theirs all the time!

I’ve also had sick kids for three weeks now (more doctors visits) and LittleMissH ended up needing an unplanned ear tube surgery last week…and I’m not going to lie, the upcoming endometrial ablation had me worried and emotional too. I’ve never had surgery before and had no idea what to expect, and part of the surgery involved having my tubes tied…which was obviously hard for a ton of reasons.

operating tableWhen I was chatting with a friend the other day about the things I have going on I laughingly said “I’ll sleep when I’m on the operating table!” and I realized I meant it, I truly meant it, which is kind of ridiculous really…

The Cowboy finally put his foot down when I started hysterically crying when I found out I needed to add a visit with a GI doctor and a colonoscopy to my already packed schedule. He put in a phone call to a good friend that owns a day care and got the two littlest Cowkids signed up for drop off.

I resisted at first. It felt like I was completely failing in my job as a stay at home mom to send my kids to day care, even if it was only a few days a month…but I knew I needed help and this was the best way. I admit that I cried when I dropped them off the first time but, knowing that I could then go to my doctors appointment stress free, while they happily played away, was a huge relief.

As I sit here, home alone, recovering from my surgery I know I made the right choice. Could I have pushed through today with the two littlest Cowkids here?

Yeah I could have. But, they are much happier playing away with friends and I’m giving my body the time it needs to rest and heal.

I guess sometimes we need to just give up on our idea of how things should work, and instead just do what actually works.

The Cowboy is sending LittleMissH and I to TX this weekend for my birthday gift, and some much needed sister time with TexasTwoSteppin’ . Stop by Instagram to see what we’re up to! Make sure you come back Friday to meet a new frequent contributor and for a giveaway!

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5 thoughts on "I’ll Sleep on the Operating Table"

  1. College BFF says:

    Your amazing and should take the time for yourself not just when you are on the operating table!

  2. MelissaN says:

    It was a brave thing to do. The time you spend with them will be high quality because you will have the energy to be present with them and not distracted. Take good care of yourself. lots of prayers going your way!

  3. Jenni T says:

    It’s not a failure to admit we need help, but why is it soon dang hard?? !!! You’re doing a GREAT job AND are so brave to share all the gritty messy details with us.

  4. Bennie says:

    I agree with Jenni above, it’s not a failure to admit when we need help. Being on anxiety meds for close to 8 years now due to freakin’ menopause i had to call my psychiatrist last August to say something wasn’t right. It seems my meds were no longer doing their job so I had to switch meds. It took awhile to get back to feeling normal but I hated having to call him and say, “I’m feeling negative thoughts”. I still have days when the negativity is higher than it should be but I think that’s just part of life.

    I’m glad the cowkids are in day care and school so that you can get to appointments without extra stress. Your hubby did the right thing. Hang in there and enjoy your trip to TX. You deserve some time off before your procedure.

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