Preventive Mastectomy: Family and Friends

Posted March 16, 2016 by Prairie Wife -

friends and familyOne of the hardest parts of my decision to have a preventive Mastectomy is not the effect it will have on me physically and emotionally but, how my decision is impacting everyone around me. I shared with you the conversation I had with the Cowkids and as I was typing the post I thought…I wonder how this is really impacting other people in my life? So I asked a few people if they’d be willing to share their thoughts. After all, it’s not just my story but, theirs too!

The Cowboy: I love Prairie Wife, and I’d kinda like to have her around as long as possible. I’m proud that she’s willing to do this to ensure she is here for our kids for many years to come. I’m worried she’s going to keep all her emotions in and be tough instead of crying when she needs to. I’m sure I’m going to mess a bunch of stuff up when I’m in charge, and it’ll be a hard year for all of us. But, I have no doubt that this is the right choice, and Prairie Wife will get it all put back together when she’s healthy.

Texas Two Steppin’: Since the day Prairie Wife came home from the hospital I have tried to make sure I was the best big sister I could be. Yes, I did all of the important things like changing her diapers, giving her baths and reading her favorite stories hundreds of times. But I also tried to be a positive role model and influence because I knew how much that little girl with dark, wavy hair and a happy disposition wanted to be like me. This is one of those times that I wish she wasn’t so much like me, but I hope I have been able to pave the way and make this journey a bit easier for her and our family. I know she will handle this with grit and grace. And, from my many years of experience as a big sister, trust me when I say that I know she will finally understand how important she is to so many people. Love you!

TallGirlJ: First off let’s all just acknowledge how brave Prairie Wife is… I have been listening and following her journey since it started. I have admired how calm and collected she has been through it all…let me say if tables were turned, I would be a train wreck! Prairie Wife has always had the attitude that she will handle what she gets, not stress, and most importantly… live. When she first got the results from the geneticist, it was scary! Then she decided that her best option was to visit a fantastic team in Colorado, and I am so glad she did. While I know the journey she is about to embark on is going to be tough, I have no doubt that she will handle it with grit and grace. I believe she will come out of this healthier than ever. She has an amazing support system and this whole thing has brought to light how many people truly care and love her! She is also blessing so many others by sharing her story on this amazing platform.

Pa: When I heard Prairie Wife was going to have a preventive mastectomy I had lots of feelings, but two predominated. First was fear – that gut bunching bowel loosening feeling you get when something bad might happen to your baby. The second feeling, and the one that is lasting, is pride: pride in her courage, her intelligence, and her maturity.


Ma: When Prairie Wife asked for my feelings about her upcoming surgery  my first response was to be ” short and sweet”.  On further reflection….I can’t. The journey my youngest child has decided to undertake ( no way did she CHOOSE this!) wasn’t….isn’t….and won’t be either short or sweet in ANY way. I am eternally grateful for the wonderful family and friends in Wyoming who will offer love and support in the coming days…and years.  I HATE that I can’t keep this from her. I will support her in every way and with everything I can. Prairie Wife epitomizes “grit and grace”, but almost more importantly – she is FIERCE!! And I love her.

CowGranny: How do I feel? Well I am feeling anxious, afraid, and very proud of Prairie Wife. This is a huge undertaking and I know she is a strong woman but as her “other mother” I worry. I worry for her health, for her recovery, and all of the changes that are ahead for her. I also embrace the strength of Prairie Wife’s family, her husband (my son) and her amazing support system. Thanks for letting me be a part of this, and I there helping wherever and whenever Prairie Wife needs me!

SisterInLaw1: From a preventative standpoint I think the choice is appropriate. My biggest concerns are related to the post operative complications that could occur. I know that these are most likely minimal when compared to the effects of cancer but they are still a concern: how they may affect normal recovery time, how they may create a permanent issue….these things cause me to worry. I also know how important Prairie Wife’s family is and not being able to care for them in the way she would prefer might be harder than any of us expect. The ability for her to balance her expectations and not feel like a “bad mom” is what I will be praying for – along of course with quick healing time and for my brother to be able to handle the big changes coming.

Bonita Blue Eyes: When Prairie Wife told me she was getting genetic testing done, I knew that was a responsible choice. My mother is a breast cancer cancer survivor, and my sister had a friend who elected to have a preventative mastectomy, so I knew that it was a “thing,” My mom had a lumpectomy, where they just took out the part of her breast with cancer in it. She says that had she known then what she know knows, (it all happened so fast that they did surgery the day after they found the cancer and did not have much time to respond) that she would have opted to have everything taken out. When Prairie Wife said she would indeed have the surgery, I felt like she was making the right choice for her. In those beginning stages I felt excited for her and that she was going to have an awesome excuse for “new boobs.” She hasn’t showed me, but I imaging nursing for 5 years will do a number on them.

Now that the date is approaching, it feels like it is getting real. Like when you are pregnant and know a baby is coming, but then all of a sudden you are at month 8 and you have to seriously prepare for it. Even after 3 kids, I always got nervous and prayed a ton that all would go well. I know she will be okay, but now I feel for her. Going under the knife is hard. Not being able to do anything for your self sucks. I think about her every time I make mental plans for my summer, because she won’t get a regular fun summer this year. But I am so proud that she is taking this relatively short period of time in her life to better her chances of being a Grandmother and live a long and healthy life. I hope that she accepts all of the help being offered, because she truly has attracted many wonderful people in her life who are just as kind and generous as she is. We are here for you, Prairie Wife!

Copyright: bolina / 123RF Stock Photo

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