The Twelve Steps of Toddlers Anonymous #Giveaway

Posted April 1, 2015 by Prairie Wife - 74 comments

mom with toddlerHello my name is Prairie Wife and I have had a toddler in my house for the last 9 years. I acknowledge that my house full of toddlers is because of my choice (and my choice alone…though The Cowboy did have something to do with it) to have a clan of children. Throughout this time countless pieces of furniture have been ruined and my car has been covered in barf and urine repeatedly. I have lost touch with numerous friends, and ruined friendships with most of my friends who don’t have toddlers. I hope to someday repair the damage that has been done to my home, my body, my emotional health, and my friendships and family relationships.

The Twelve Steps of Toddlers Anonymous

1. We admit that we are powerless over toddlers-that our lives have become unmanageable.

2. We believe that a Power greater than ourselves (known as a babysitter) can restore our sanity.

3. We have made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God because we have given up all hope of making it through a day with no tantrums.

4. We have made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves, and decided that two hours of playhouse Disney a day will not harm our toddler.

5. We admit to God, ourselves, and to our closet mom friends the exact nature of our wrongs. We fully expect to be supported and told that they too have given their child Oreos at 9 in the morning.

6. We are entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character, as well as the stretch marks, 20 pounds of baby weight, gray hairs, undereye bags and perhaps that twitch in our left eye whenever we hear “Moooommmm” !

7. We humbly ask Him to remove our short comings and keep our toddler from shouting every swear word he has ever heard during quiet prayer at church.

8. We will make a list of all persons our toddler has harmed, and are willing to make amends. Including but not limited to; paying to dry clean their white cashmere sweaters. Who knew regurgitated hot cocoa could travel so far?

9. We have made direct amends to such people we have harmed whenever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others. It would probably be better to stay away from the little boy he bit at the park and his hipster mother.

10. We will continue to take inventory and when our toddler misbehaves we will promptly apologize and remove them from the McDonalds play area before they can hold your child down in the ball pit for a third time.

11. We will seek through prayer, mediation, and the occasional chocolate binge to improve our conscious contact with God. Praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry it out…and for naptime to be here…NOW!

12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these Steps, we will carry this message to other mothers with toddlers, receive their tears with compassion, encourage them that this too shall pass (and keep it to ourselves that a three year old is actually worse than a toddler), and bring them Starbucks Triple shot Lattes in their time of need.

To help other mother’s with toddler make it through this hard time we at are giving away a $10 gift card to Starbucks! All you have to do is leave a comment on the post below. Earn more point by following us on social media. Please be honest we do check!


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74 thoughts on "The Twelve Steps of Toddlers Anonymous #Giveaway"

  1. Alyssa L says:

    Oh my goodness yes! I (conveniently) forgot about most of this crazy toddlerness, but we are quickly approaching this stage and I’m starting to get nervous!

    1. Prairie Wife says:

      Lol you can make it through…I think blocking it out is a copping strategy lol!

  2. I NEEDED this toddler ‘”co-sign” …I’ve currently got two! AMEN sister!

    1. Prairie Wife says:

      Stay strong Aubrey!

  3. Lindsey says:

    Yes!!!! That’s it!

  4. Lizzi says:

    The struggle is real! I’m right there with ya!

    1. Prairie Wife says:

      Solidarity sister!

  5. Melissa says:

    Absolutely!!! This is great. However, I’m not sure either of mine qualify for the “toddler” stage anymore!!

    1. Prairie Wife says:

      Lucky you that you made it to the other side 😉

  6. Jamie L says:

    are you spying on me??? I can relate to every single one of these. I’ve got 4 boys 15, 12, 6, & 2:-/

    1. Prairie Wife says:

      Oh my Jamie…there is a special spot in heaven for you!

  7. College BFF says:

    Number 1 is so true!

  8. MHopkin says:

    HAHA!! Giggling through tears is such as strange sensation! But HOLY FREAKING COW YES!!!! So beautifully and truthfully presented 🙂

    1. Prairie Wife says:

      I’m glad there was giggling, not just tears 🙂

  9. Haha, this was great. I’ve had toddlers for FOREVER. My left ear has lost some of it’s hearing from when they start screaming while I hold them. I’ve accepted that earplugs are now a better outfit accessory than earrings.

    1. Prairie Wife says:

      I hadn’t though of ear plugs…genius!

  10. miranda says:

    It was hard when my toddler hit

    1. Prairie Wife says:

      So hard, and biting has its troubles too!

  11. gary says:

    It is hard not to be able to reason with those little guys

  12. gary says:

    they are hard

    1. Prairie Wife says:

      Agreed Gary! Thanks for stopping by!

  13. Sarah says:

    Hah I totally relate to the barf/urine car!

  14. allyson tice says:

    Every night my daughter cries becuase she cant sleep when its so dark outside!

    1. Prairie Wife says:

      lol that’s going to be a hard one to fix!

  15. When my son doesn’t get the cereal he wants in the grocery store, you would think the world was coming to the end – not fun at all.

  16. Cindy Loo says:

    Driving my nieces the forty five minutes to grandma’s house…and ten minutes in on the drive, little Nora throws up in her carseat!

  17. sharon says:

    the illness woes are trying enough — then they discover the word Puke and use it for everything! as you’re trying to clean, for example. not easy when trying to forget!

  18. Lyndsey says:

    Biting is what we are working on right now!

  19. Kathy Anderson says:

    I sure do nap alot more!

  20. Alex Grau says:

    Ugh how much time do you have? Tonight my toddler yelled at me after he ate popcorn and got some stuck in his teeth. And then he yelled when I tried to help him get them out.

  21. Patricia E says:

    The fit throwing while we are riding in the car is the worse!

  22. sandra says:

    Refusing to eat dinner even if it’s something he normally likes or he won’t try it because it’s new

  23. wen budro says:

    I love the 12 steps….too funny and true. It’s exhausting for sure.

  24. Tish W. says:

    I do not have a toddler, but I have several nephews and a niece who are. One in particular does not like to be told no. What child (or adult) does, however, you tell him no, and he is determined to keep on doing it. And he will even keep doing it with a smile, trying to get you to smile, or eventually he will fake cry. It is definitely preparing me for children lol. I respect all of the moms because raising a child is hard work.

  25. Leah Shumack says:

    My daughter would be great at home and the terrible 2s always struck when we were in public!

  26. megan Tilley says:

    Mine isn’t a toddler yet but is 8 months old and she has gotten where if I leave her sight she cries and screams!!! Poor thing!

  27. Allison S. says:

    The lack of consistent sleep still gets to me.

  28. I don’t have kids currently … but this will let me know what to expect :P. Thanks for the giveaway!

  29. Katie Bellamy says:

    I have a 2 year old….Terrible 2’s. Thats al I gotta say! 🙂

  30. lissa crane says:

    I try to remind myself with every episode, with every child, that it will pass and they will be teens before I know it!

  31. kathy dalton says:

    As a grandma who babysits a toddler I love this especially step 1

  32. Dawn Monroe says:

    Been there done that, got a T-shirt! This is why being a grandparent is amazing. We can send them home!

  33. saralynns2 says:

    The honesty of this post is inspiring! I love that it’s relatable for almost any parent of little ones…

  34. latanya says:

    My son is 4 and always tries to tell me something is right, but he is wrong. Getting him to see that can be a struggle.

  35. Linda Trinklein says:

    YES!!!! <3 this!! thank you 🙂

  36. Makala says:

    Wow what a treat a nice cup of coffee would be. My 14 month old son who thinks he’s 3 is currently throwing his 10 fit this morning. Ha! And it’s only 11:30 am my time. He is such a blessing but is testing the waters of “the dreaded terrible twos.” I’m trying to stay strong. :{}
    Thanks for the chance to win. Stay strong mamas! Children are always a blessing. ❤️

  37. Donna L says:

    Been there! Daughter is grown up now!

  38. Michelle Faile says:

    Lack of sleep!

  39. Kimberly says:

    I have 2 toddlers (how’d that happen!?) and your list is perfect. #10 is especially applicable. My daughter is fond of tackle hugging kids, even if she doesn’t know them. I promise she has never seen me do something like this, but she thinks it is how we say hello.

    1. Prairie Wife says:

      This made me lol, thanks for sharing!

  40. Hadespark says:

    When I was teaching her to use the toilet, I took her diaper off and she pooped on the floor. I don’t what I thought was going to happen.

  41. terra phipps says:

    with my almost 3 and almost 2 year old there is so much my youngest screams all the time and my oldest is a very picky eater who i have to sit down and make her eat also and they both constantly climb and get into everything its impossible for me to keep house clean longer then 5 minutes

    1. Prairie Wife says:

      The more kids the more challenges.

  42. Leigh Anne Borders says:

    There is so much to laugh, cry, and smile about with toddlers. Always keeps me on my toes!

  43. chickie brewer says:

    chasing after them and cleaning the house does not go together,

  44. Claire says:

    potty training is hard!

  45. Fiona N says:

    I agree with Claire, potty training is so hard for me too 🙁

    1. Prairie Wife says:

      We’ve got some great tips here on the blog for you

  46. Kari says:

    My kids are teenagers so I have a whole different kind of woes, LOL! but, I do remember the toddler days and they were sometimes rough.

  47. THRansom says:

    I am working nights a few days a week and am a full time mom. I am constantly on the go……with little sleep

    1. Prairie Wife says:

      fingers crossed, it sounds like you could use the coffee!

  48. Makala says:

    Which fabulous mama won?

    1. Prairie Wife says:

      I’ll be posting it tomorrow Makala! 🙂

      1. Makala says:

        Awesome! Thank you for sharing your thought 🙂 Love the website!!

        1. Prairie Wife says:

          Thanks for stopping by Makala!

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