The Gifts of Imperfection by Brene Brown
Posted November 13, 2018 by Prairie Wife - 4 comments
And yes I see the irony of that based on the title of her book.
If you liked Girl Wash Your Face by Rachel Hollis this is the next book you MUST read. It is a quick and easy read but is by no means light. There are some heavy doses of reality. Brene Brown shares stories from her real life but uses cold hard facts gathered from her years of research to support her statements.
Attack this book with a highlighter and plan to have so many Pinterest worthy quotes that you won’t be able to stand it!
I talked a bit about this book on last week’s LIVE Facebook and even mentioned it on my appearance yesterday on Good Morning Wyoming. I’m obsessed. I keep paging through it each day and finding just the right quote to help me stay focused on exactly what I need.
I thought a lot about how to present this book to you, to share how good it was but not ruin it for you. The second part of the title really sums up what it’s all about.
The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You’re Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are
I’ve been working on this for years. First, it was tackling the feeling that I was never enough.
Now I’m working on the fact that I am the world’s most terrible people pleaser.
It’s a real issue. I desperately want everyone to like me.
I get most of my feel goods from knowing that people like me and what I do…which means I am constantly judging myself against other peoples’ opinions of me (real or perceived).
News flash, this backfires often.
I can’t make everyone happy, nor should I. Making everyone else happy means I put myself and my family second, third or fourth.
It means I rethink all my actions, and words, wondering if I said the wrong thing, did they understand what I really meant, should I text them and make sure?
I’m working on this, and going easier on myself is getting…well easier 😉
First Ah Hah moment from this book, “We cannot give our children what we don’t have.”
Ouch Ms. Brown…no pressure here (gulp). But, dang it, we all know it’s true.
In her chapter on Cultivating Play and Rest Brene Brown says we need to “Let go of exhaustion as a status symbol and productivity as self-worth.”
Hang on and think about it for a minute.
How 100% true is this!?
I’ve rededicated myself to listening to my body and going to bed when I’m tired…not when I’m exhausted and falling asleep on the couch. Yeah, I’m watching way less TV, but I’m a lot more focused and fun to be around!
The play part is harder.
I do “play” in the form of running and hiking and snowshoeing and skiing. Yet, we don’t play as much as a family as we could. I rarely get to be the fun mom, even though I love it. I’m dedicated to changing that. After all, Brene Brown clearly states that all these changes aren’t just about me (or you) they’re about the entire family, and I need to make it a family affair.
In the chapter Cultivating Gratitude and Joy, she talks about how joy and gratitude are vulnerable and intense experiences. We shield ourselves from feeling them because we KNOW the feeling can’t/won’t last.
Guilty, guilty, guilty.
I often pretend not to care about something that I really really really DO care about, so that if it doesn’t happen I won’t be so upset.
For example, I should hear on the 15th if I was accepted at The Mom 2.0 Summit as a speaker. I’ve been telling myself that it won’t be a big deal if I don’t get it, over and over.
Brene Brown points out that doing this doesn’t actually make us hurt less. Instead, it actually dulls our ability to experience the full level of joy we should when good things happen.
Buy this book, put the time in to read it.
When you’re done, sit in silence and give it time to soak in.
Then come back and tell me what you think, I can’t wait to hear!
I’m going to leave you with one last thought.