Mama Mantra: Ask Before You Post

Posted November 11, 2022 by Prairie Wife -

“Ask before you post” is a rule that started around here about seven years ago.

It’s a rule that I think everyone should have, even if they don’t have a public platform like me.

While I have been blogging for nine years, I didn’t put up pictures of the Cowkids’ faces or mine and The Cowboy’s until a few years after I began.

The reasons for being anonymous at first are many…but mainly, it was easier to be open and honest when no one knew who was behind the posts.

When it became clear that I needed to get brave and be more vulnerable and transparent, I began posting pictures of myself and our family.

But I promised myself (and my readers and followers) that I would still be authentic with my posts.

You can find plenty of no makeup, messy bun pictures and videos of me. Videos where I cry as I talk because the topic is a tough one for me. Pictures of our home as it REALLY is, dirty dishes and all.

 

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And both posed and candid shots of the Cowkids living their best life out here on the Wyoming Prairie.

But, if you look closely, you may notice that lately, there have been very few pictures of the oldest Cowkid.

It’s not because I don’t love him as much. It’s because he doesn’t want the pictures I’ve taken posted on my public account.

From the very beginning of this blogging journey, I’ve been very aware of how being so public about my life can impact my entire family.

I made it clear to my children that I would always ask permission from them before I posted pictures or videos of them. Over and over, they’ve said no to me, and I’ve respected their decision.

YES it has absolutely killed me at times to listen to them, but I have no regrets about allowing them to have a say.

It has created a culture of trust and safety that allows them to feel comfortable being who they are in our home and around me.

They can dress up in an inflatable costume and do a silly dance without worrying that their friends will see it and make fun of them.

The Cowkids won’t have to worry that their crush can find a picture of them naked in the bathtub because I protected their privacy even when they were too little to say no.

And this rule is why you don’t often see pictures or videos of The Cowboy…it’s just not his thing.

I follow the same rule with friends and acquaintances when I post public pictures of them, and often even have them approve the exact picture before I post it.

After all, we’ve all seen a less-than-flattering picture of ourselves that a family member or friend posts that make us cringe…I DO NOT want to be that person!

As soon as the Cowkids have tech that allows them to take pictures, they must follow the same rules I do.

1. Ask before you take a picture or video
2. Delete afterward if asked
3. Ask for permission to share the picture (this includes through text or posting on social media)

NOTE: Part of allowing your children to have a smartphone is teaching them what is appropriate when taking pictures and videos. You also need to teach them what to do if someone takes an inappropriate or unwanted picture of them or sends them inappropriate pictures.

Have you thought about this for you and your family? Do you have rules for what you will and will not post?

Photo Credit: Krystal Brewer

Categories: Life As It Happens, Parenting

Tags: , blogging, help parenting, kids and tech, mama mantra, parenting, public life, rules for tech, taking pictures with phones