Mama Mantra: Our Home is a Safe Place
Posted May 19, 2017 by Prairie Wife - 2 comments
The Cowkids have been at each others’ throats the last few days, going out of their way to be annoying, hurtful, and mean.
Some of the craziness is because The Cowboy has been gone for 2 weeks, and I know that this ridiculous Spring weather is NOT helping. Every teacher and mother knows that children are barometers. When a big storm is headed in, they’ll be twice as chatty as usual and bouncing off the walls!
Tonight we went to Cowboy J’s end-of-year band concert. The hour before was spent at ballet practice. Then we drove through snow and wet roads to get to the concert just in time to stand in the back. The Cowkids were terrible, at least by my behavior standards.
They pushed, pinched, picked at, and generally antagonized each other the whole entire time.
When we finally got home and ready for bed and prayer time, they continued to terrorize each other.
I told them all to sit down, fold their hands, and gave them lecture #47
“Our Home is a Safe Place”
I explained that our home is the one place where they should always feel safe.
Safe from bullying, safe from feeling less than, and safe from harm.
Their job is to lift each other up, celebrate their differences, and protect each other.
I explained that the world is a crappy enough place with enough hurt and anger to go around. I refuse to have my own children making each other feel worse.
They’ve heard this all before, and I’m sure that they will hear it again but it’s a message that I want them to know deep down in their soul.
I was mercilessly bullied all through grade school.
My home was my safe place, and that power can never be underestimated.
It allowed me to be confident despite the cruel words each day and grow to become who I knew I was meant to be.
Siblings will fuss and fight, and I know better than to expect the calm to last.
But, I will continue to insist that our home is a safe place.
As a parent, I am responsible for creating a safe environment for my kids.
I need to teach my children to solve disagreements respectfully and appropriately.
They need to learn to respect the need of siblings to walk away and calm down.
And through my own behavior, I have to model the power of an authentic apology…and accepting an apology with true grace and forgiveness.
In today’s tech-filled world, part of creating a home that is a safe place is insisting that your tweens and teens are physically separated from their phones for hours at a time.
Bullying can be 24/7 now, thanks to our ability to be connected at all times through social media. It’s not like when we were little when you finally got away from your tormentors when you got off the bus.
Your children must understand they need permission before they take a picture or video of their siblings, and always get permission before posting anything about a family member.
It’s up to you to set boundaries around the tech your children have access to, so you can ensure they have a safe place to simply be themselves.
Is there anything you’d like to add to this?
How do you make sure your home is a safe place?
Photo Credit: Krystal J Brewer and Erin Potter Photography
Categories: Life As It Happens, Parenting
Tags: , bullying, fighting, home, lecture, mama mantra, parenting, safe, siblings, support
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2 thoughts on "Mama Mantra: Our Home is a Safe Place"
It sounds like you gave them a very nice and timely lecture (#47 – LOL).
We are sisters in the bullying dept. I too was bullied and tease mercilessly through school. My name, Benedict, started it all. I was first Benedict Arnold, traitor, stool pigeon, teacher’s pet, followed by (the movie) Ben the Rat (sounds like a gangster), and Bennie and the Jets. Of course if I knew then what I knew now I would have turned Bennie and the Jets into a positive – yep, Elton John wrote a song about me. Has he written one about you?
But I didn’t think along those lines back then. Kids words and actions can really sting and stay with us. To this day I still have some PTSD (if we can refer to it that way) from those years.
Keep up the positive good work!
Like you I always think of the right things to say too late lol! Thanks for your support 🙂 I agree, the things that happen during those growing years can effect us forever…I still hate making my eye makeup too dark because I was called frog eyes for so long I hate to draw attention to them.