Mama Mantra: You CAN Say No to Good Things

Posted January 8, 2018 by Prairie Wife -

It’s officially week two of 2018 and I’m trying my best to stick to my goals for the year…which is all about being OK with change (and even seeking it out) and embracing all the mess and joy of this Prairie Life.

A few of my readers mentioned that they could use some help saying NO.

Those of you that followed our weekend of saying YES know that I am pretty darn good at saying NO.

But this is a bit different than you think.

I’m a work from home mom of five kids, I volunteer at their school and our church, I try to spend as much time with The Cowboy as I can, and I try to workout out least twice a week…and my weekly time with my friends is precious and vital to my survival.

That’s a lot of crap to do and I’m the first to admit that I sometimes struggle with finding my balance. There are times I’ve dropped the ball with work, I’ve been a bad friend, I’ve pushed my kids’ needs aside and I’m guilty of sometimes neglecting both the housework and The Cowboy.

But, overall I have to say that I am pretty proud of this life I’ve made, I’m working hard to move closer towards that end goal of feeling enough. When I look at the big picture I feel pretty confident that the things I value most have been given the attention they needed.

A lesson that I learned many years ago is one that has helped me to get back on track over and over when I feel myself getting off balance.

It’s OK to say NO to good things.

Just because something is good doesn’t mean you have to say yes.

I know that the Cowkids would benefit from the multitude of extra curricular activities available to them. Boy Scouts, Soccer, Swim Team, Piano Lessons, Science Club and so on…

But it would NOT be good for them or our family to say YES to any and every activity available to them.

It seems that women in general, and moms specifically, get stuck in a deadly guilt spiral.

STOP

Just because something is good doesn’t mean that it’s good for you and your family, or that the timing is right.

If something is meant to be it will come back around.

There are very few decisions that are written in stone…there is often a chance to say YES if it turns out saying NO was wrong.

The Cowboy taught me that one, and it’s pretty amazing how simply reminding myself of this fact can bring my focus back to where it belongs.

Sometimes it’s important to explain your NO to people, and to your kids. 

Other times it’s a waste of your time and a simple “This is what’s right for me.” is all you need to say.

Readers, next time something good comes around and you feel like saying NO is the right choice…Take a deep breath, and say it!

Say NO with NO guilt, with NO fear, and with NO regrets.

Categories: Life As It Happens, Parenting

Tags: , guilt, mama mantra, mom guilt, parenting, saying no, support, time management