Mama Mantra: It’s Not Them…It’s Me

Posted October 13, 2017 by Prairie Wife - 3 comments

Well today started off wonderfully…until I got out of bed.

kids fightingI immediately faced a whiny dramatic daughter (tween years are fun right) a slow poke son, and two littles that simply couldn’t find a way to breathe the same air without screaming.

I had to look nice today because I had a morning of working at the coffee shop followed by a meeting at church. This resulted in the need for me to have 15 minutes of time to myself to get dressed and get my hair and face in a somewhat presentable order.

All of this negative energy snowballed as the morning went on, and by the time it was time to hit the road (about an hour after my feet hit the ground), I found myself screaming at all of the Cowkids.

I can’t tell you exactly what I said but it went something like “Can you please just be kind, be helpful and do what I ask the first time?!” The result was tears from the two littlest and a sudden desire to be extra helpful from the two older Cowkids that were still home…and a huge case of mom guilt for me.

We have a 30 minute car ride into town for school and since the car was dead silent I took that time to contemplate WTF was going on.

Yesterday was a great day.

We had an extra hour at home thanks to The Cowboy taking the kids to school, and I put the phone down and snuggled with the two littlest Cowkids and watched some cartoons. It’s been far too long since I took the time to do this.

Yes we were 5 minutes late to volunteer but, I kept my cool and rather than freak out on Cowboy C for not getting dressed the first 15 times I asked, I simply made him go up and apologize to Cowboy W’s teacher. Way more effective…

Volunteering was followed by errands and it all went smoothly.

holding handsLittleMissH went on a walk to the mailbox with me and I relished the time holding her sweet little hand and chatting about kittens and how fast she could run.

Lunch was followed by a productive naptime and, for once, there were no tears when I woke the kids up from nap to head back to town.

All the Cowkids enjoyed some outside time playing in the Fall sun, and homework was quickly and correctly finished.

I was able to get ready for a fundraiser event, get the Cowkids to the neighbors, and arrive at the event 15 minutes early…

So, why the heck was yesterday so great and today so dang terrible?

After some thought, I realized yet again that the problem wasn’t The Cowkids…it was me.

You’d think after over a decade of parenting I’d remember that usually when I loose my sh!t with my kids, it’s really all about me and not them.

But, nope. It’s one of those lessons I keep on forgetting and learning over and over…and over again.

I was tired from staying up to late to watch TV. When the alarm went off I stayed in bed an extra 10 minutes thinking about my to do list for the day (and yes looking at FB) instead of actually getting up and going.

And I miss my kids…

Football is great, and Cowboy J has benefited so much from his season. But, as we crawl our way to the end of the season we are weary, rushed and spending our weekends getting caught up on chores instead of relaxing as a family.

The result is a mom constantly feeling rushed and short tempered.

Truthfully The Cowkids behaved no differently this morning then they do most other mornings.

It was ME who wasn’t being kind, ME who wasn’t being helpful and ME who wasn’t doing the things I should have been…

The result was perfectly predictable…yelling, tears and guilt.

So, this afternoon will be better.

I’ll remember to breathe, put down my phone and get my butt in gear.

I’ll take the time to truly be present with my kids, even if it’s just for 15 minutes.

Because I know, the time I put into being with them and filling up their love cup, will result in filling up mine…and when my cup is full it’s much easier to get through the day.




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3 thoughts on "Mama Mantra: It’s Not Them…It’s Me"

  1. Reba Smith says:

    Oh wow!!! I needed to read this this morning. (3 days later) I have never reflected back on my days like this and thought that it was actually ME with the issue. Thanks for humbling me. I LOVE your love cup analogy. I’m gonna use it too’

    1. Prairie Wife says:

      Thanks Reba and hugs, this parenting thing is great at teaching all of us lessons 😉

  2. Jenn B says:

    I needed this, a lot. Thanks for the reminder that we are all in this and not alone. Here’s to the next minute that we get to change our outlook, attitude, and move ahead.

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