Mama Mantra: There Is No Curfew In Our House

Posted September 2, 2022 by Prairie Wife - 2 comments

There is no curfew in our house.

This may surprise you because we tend to be pretty strict with our Cowkids.

For example, our no dating until High School rule is one that resulted in a lot of opinions (a nice word for people telling me I’m crazy) when I shared it.

Growing up, my parents were SUPER strict. My curfew until I was 18 was 9:30 pm, and there was no going out on weekdays no matter what. Yes, I AM still bitter that I had to miss that Matchbox 20 concert because it was a Wednesday.

When The Cowboy and I sat down and talked about how we wanted to handle the topic of curfews, we both agreed right away that it was best to decide on curfews on a case-by-case basis.

For example, some of the football players in our small town like to go to Casper for wings after practice. This is a weekday activity and one that could result in our son getting home at 10 pm.

But, if his homework is done, if he’s been waking up and getting going early in the morning with no issues, we don’t see any reason why Cowboy J can’t be allowed to go.

A few weeks ago Cowboy J (16) and Cowgirl G (14) went to a movie in Casper (a 30-minute drive) with a friend from their small town and two of their friends from Casper. It was a 9:00 pm movie, and a lot of driving was involved. We told them to come home when they were done dropping all their friends off after the movie. We knew it would likely be after midnight, but it was Summertime, and no one had to work the next morning.

We’ve had times where attitudes at home have been less than desirable, and it’s obvious that the Cowkids are tired from a busy sports schedule and responsibilities at school.

When this is the case, we’ve told them to be home earlier or have even said no to activities until we’ve seen that their attitude is better.

The Cowboy and I want the Cowkids to learn how to balance the want-tos and the have-tos of life, and now is the time when our teenagers are learning to do this.

Sometimes even when we see that they should make a different choice, we let them learn through experience.

We offer our thoughts and then give them the freedom to decide what to do.

We’ve had times when they’ve been up all night at a sleepover and then have to come home and help with BIG projects. They were warned that they better be ready to go…and it was clear halfway through a project when they made the connection between their exhaustion and the choices they made the night before.

That’s a lesson that will stick.

As adults, we make choices on how to schedule our time based on what we’ve already done during the week and what we have to do and need to do moving forward.

I think having a hard and fast curfew and set of rules would prevent our Cowkids from learning how to make those choices and that it would be a detriment to them when they leave home and suddenly don’t have ANY rules.

We’ve all seen it (or done it ourselves)…when kids are let loose into the real world for the first time and spend quite a bit of time learning the hard lesson of what staying up too late can do to your ability to meet work and school expectations.

By giving our Cowkids a bit of freedom now, we’re hoping it will make their transition into adulthood easier.

I’d love to hear your thoughts about this!

Do you think having a case-by-case curfew is too much freedom?

Also, if you have teenagers starting to need a bit more freedom, I recommend the Life360 App. It has been an amazing way for all of us to feel comfortable letting them out and about.

Photo Credit: Erin Potter Photography Skyla Lee Photography

Categories: Life As It Happens, Parenting

Tags: , curfew, freedom for teenagers, parenting, parenting teenagers, settign limits for kids, should kids have a curfew