Show Yourself Some Compassion
Posted January 24, 2015 by Prairie Wife - 5 comments
Once a month a group of moms from my church gathers together to offer support and fellowship. We are currently watching and studying the Momnipotant Series. As we watched the DVD this month it was a topic that I could tell resonated not just with me but with all the moms. The focus was not getting trapped in the cycle of comparing yourself to others. After all, we only know what people share on the outside, not what they are struggling with on the inside.
As I listened to the women talk and share their frustrations and disappointments I realized something…I found myself shaking my head at their fears and concerns. They are all such amazing women! It shocked me how hard they were being on themselves, when I could clearly see that they were not only good moms but wonderful women and wives as well. As I drove home I began my mental list of all the things that I needed to do and I could feel my blood pressure rise when I realized how far behind I had gotten that week.
Then I stopped, and took a deep breath, and showed myself the same compassion that I showed all the women in our group. That’s when it hit me. I needed to start showing myself the same compassion that I constantly showed my friends. Would I judge TallGirlJ harshly if she told me she took a nap instead of putting away the baskets of laundry that had been sitting for days? No way, I’d probably be jealous! When I see that mom at school picking up her child in sweats, a hoodie, and a baseball hat do I even bat an eye? Nope! Have I ever even noticed the state of my neighbor’s floor under the table when I have stopped by for a visit? Never!
So why am I killing myself to get laundry put away, waking up from a nap early to shower just to get the kids from school, and putting myself into a tizzy and ignoring my kids to sweep and mop the floor? Of course I need to be realistic, these things do need to get done, and fun or not it’s my “job” to do it. But, I’ve decided not to beat myself up if I don’t get it done all the time! This last week I spent 30 minutes playing (yes actually playing) with Cowboy C and Cowboy W. I sang the Tigger song while they jumped up and down and sang and shouted like lunatics. And yup the dishes were still there to do after nap time. I wore the same pair of sweats three days in a row and no one threw snow at me or pushed me down in the parking lot when I went to pick up the Cowkids! I’m happier and calmer and the Kindness Chart is filling up with X’s faster than it has in weeks.
Next time you feel yourself using that inner voice to do harm, when you find yourself feeling that you are not enough, take a deep breath and show yourself some compassion.
Do you find that you are harder on yourself than others?
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