Happy New Year To Me (sarcasm)

Posted January 2, 2014 by Prairie Wife - 1 comment

 

As I write this post, I am squinting my eyes as the words shift and blur on the computer screen. You see, last night was a rough one here at the Prairie Homestead. It’s not tears in my eyes (though that may come later) making it hard to write, it is a thick cloud of fog, the result of three cold air humidifiers going non-stop for more than 12 hours. All three Cowkids and the Cowbaby woke up with runny noses and a slight cough yesterday (happy new year to me) that rapidly progressed to plague like proportions in less than 24 hours. As I like to say around here, I certainly earned my hazard pay last night.

I hate it when my kids are sick! Of course I feel bad when they are under the weather and uncomfortable but, really it’s all about me. Grouchy whiny sick kids are the worst. It amps up my work load 200% and my sleep level (which isn’t that high anyway) and overall productivity drops at least 50 points. I have be honest, I might break my new year’s resolution to have a “yell free” home today…Unlike all three of my sister in laws who are nurses, I have always known I am not cut out for the medical field. It has nothing to do with blood or body fluid issues, I don’t mind the snot marks on my sweat pants from the waist down. Cowboy J used to actively seek me out when he was a toddler to wipe his nose on my pants. And if we are being totally honest, both my sleeves are covered in Cowkid/Cowbaby snot as well, because sometimes it’s just easier to use them, rather than get a Kleenex (go ahead and judge me I can take it).

I always seem to do great for the first 12 hours. Lots of snuggles and sympathy. Hot lemon and honey tea and blankets calmly tucked around there sweet little bodies. Then BAM right at about 12 hours something snaps and I turns into a snappy grouchy mother bear monster. I find myself twitching at the sound of “Mommmmmmmy?!” and the thought of refilling yet another humidifier and dragging it into the kids’ rooms is enough to bring me to my knees. Not to mention the non-stop symphony of coughing! I acknowledge that part of this (ok maybe all) is my fault, I chose to have four children, and when one gets sick they all do (tag teaming little punks).

I understand they can’t control the coughing. And, because every possible cough medicine that actually works haSick kidss been taken off the market (because of people using them to make illegal drugs), I can’t offer too much to help them. But, do they really need to always cough right in my face as they are talking to me? All four of them, at once!? As for nighttime when they are all lying down? Forget about sleeping, just get a good book and settle in for one hell of a long night. Let’s add to this The Cowboy hacking away all night too, because that’s how my life works. The U.S. military needs to record all four of my Cowkids and The Cowboy coughing and use it to torture terrorists in sleep deprivation chambers, seriously.

Don’t even get me started on the ninja moves needed to hold down a 21 pound 9 month old as you try and remove the guck from their nose. Cowbaby just can’t understand that I am trying to help him. I tell him every time as I sit on (in a safe non gut squishing way) his bucking squirming body, that after I get done squirting a bunch of stinging salt water up his nose at high speed and then sucking it, and part of his brain out, it really will feel better. For at least 10 minutes, and then he will sneeze and green stuff will spray out and we have to do it again…Every time I get out the booger sucker I always think about trying it on myself, I mean it can’t be that bad right? But, then I chicken out and use it on my poor innocent baby instead.

Alright, I’m done complaining. My kids are sick and it’s no fun, and my sympathy goes to anyone else with sick kids this week. But, I know in three days this should all be over and life will resume, and there are a lot of parents who don’t have that comfort. I’m taking a deep breath and getting ready to make another round of tea and put in another super educational DVD, How to Train Your Dragon counts right?  Sorry to Ma and Pa who are headed out here tomorrow morning, maybe it isn’t that contagious. An apology to everyone that came over for our big New Year bash, I’m sure you’ve already broken into a cold sweat and are now clenching your jaw in fear. When your kids get coughing just send them over here, I bought enough cough medicine to cover most of the population of Wyoming.

 

As a side note I have a list of what we do around here to help the Cowkids and Cowbaby feel better when they have a cold and cough. Please remember that my degree is in Elementary Education, not the medical field. Always check with your doctor before giving your child any medicine.

Cowbaby

Vicks Babyrub Soothing Ointment on feet and chest (if you are nursing you can put some on your breast (not anywhere the baby puts its mouth) and when they nurse it helps them breath better)

Spray Saline solution and a booger sucker (google it, apparently it is the correct term) to clean out their nose and sinuses. Don’t forget to clean the booger sucker out every once in awhile!

A soft rag for wiping their nose

Cold air humidifier

Cowkids

Vicks Babyrub Soothing Ointment on feet (it works, put it on the bottom of their feet with socks at bedtime) and chest

Delsym Cough Medicine for Children (12hr)

Children’s Wal Zyr (for runny nose and watery eyes, 24hr)

Hot water with lemon juice and honey (NO HONEY FOR CHILDREN UNDER 1yr)

A spoonful of honey when they start coughing and can’t seem to stop (NO HONEY FOR CHILDREN UNDER 1yr)

Cold air humidifier

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