5 Things They Never Told You About Pregnancy

Posted October 22, 2014 by Prairie Wife - 11 comments

Warning: Do not read this post if you are thinking about being pregnant but are not yet pregnant, if you are embarrassed easily by hearing people talk about bodily functions, or if you are male.

angry pregnant womanOne of the fun things about this pregnancy is that I get to enjoy being pregnant along with my close friends and frequent contributor on this site TallGirlJ. While we are 6 weeks apart it’s still been fun to experience all this together. As we sat talking about the emotional/hormonal up and downs, the pain of thigh chaffing, the evils of the under-wire bra, and nipple changes that come along with pregnancy we decided to help our fellow ladies out. While many pregnancy books aren’t afraid to talk about painful sex or urine leakage, we have found that there are quite a few things that they skim over, or leave out altogether. In the spirit of true Prairie Wife sisterhood, we decided to talk about a few of the things those books never told us about pregnancy.

Pregnancy insomnia, it’s going to happen…and it sucks

TallGirlJ: Nothing is more frustrating than waking up at 2 a.m. and being super awake. Just laying there, thinking how tired you are and how you can wait until nap time the next day…Welcome to pregnancy insomnia. I tell myself that it’s my body’s way of getting me ready for what’s to come, though this doesn’t make it any less frustrating!

Prairie Wife: Everyone warns you about the getting up to pee and the challenges of finding a comfortable position when you have a big old baby belly. No one warned me about waking up after four hours of sleep with a racing mind as well as a full bladder. Nothing is more frustrating than laying in bed wide awake while simultaneously feeling utterly exhausted. My best advice is to use the time to think about the baby and your future, think of it as special prenatal bonding time. I also find that SleepyTime Teas helps me fall asleep, which can be a problem for me as well.

The epic battle of pregnant woman vs. the shoe

TallGirlJ: Another thing they don’t tell you is how hard it gets to bend over… Pregnancy in the summer has benefits because you can just wear flip flops year round, but that doesn’t work so well in the Wyoming Winter. That’s when you hope to find the perfect pair of cute, loose, slip on boots. The pain of bending over doesn’t just apply to shoes. Just the other day my husband was telling a friend that he finds it funny to come home and see random things lying on the floor. I have found some things are just not worth bending over to pick up, it’s not worth the pain!

Prairie Wife: High heels, booties, knee high boots…I love them all. But when putting them on results in a 911 call because you have fallen over and can’t get up, or you have to immediately go to the bathroom after you put on each shoe, it’s time to give it up. When the waistband of my jeans (not to mention my belt buckle) digging into my baby belly results in my poor infant kicking and rolling in protest it’s time to stop. So even I, Prairie Wife in Heels, must admit defeat in the last trimester, and resort to more casual slip on… unless it’s a really special occasion. PS I have learned that an 18 month old can hand you all the dishes from the dishwasher which saves a ton of bending over time.

Rapid Hair Growth

woman shavingPrairie Wife: All the baby books talk about the benefits of a lush full head of hair. What they fail to mention is that this hair growth is not just on your head but everything from the eyebrows down. Perhaps the growing size of my belly is what draws my attention to it but, even my belly sprouts its own fur during this time…and it’s worse when I’m pregnant with a boy. Forget 5 o’clock shadow on your face, it’s a 1:00 shadow in your armpits.

TallGirlJ: Hair growth, yes it happens, and hair on you head will grow much faster and oh that is SO nice! But, they forget to mention the hair on your legs, armpits, face and well, you can use your imagination on everything else, grows triple speed as well. There is nothing like taking a shower and shaving only to notice later that it has all grown back by the end of the day. Also when I am having a boy, I grow lovely lush sideburns! The good news is that the new unwanted hair does fall out, and the growth will return to normal once you have the baby.

Drippy Under Carriage Syndrome

Prairie Wife: Look I know it’s gross but I’ve gotta share this one. None of the books mentioned this pregnancy symptom…they warn you about bladder leakage but not about the constant ooze that comes from your overwhelmed girl parts. And it gets worse the last few months…like I’m talking you’re going to want to change your underwear several times a day worse…

TallGirlJ: Oh the wetness. There are times when it gets to the point where you stop and think…did I wet myself? Did my water break? Nope, it is just the lovely moisture your body puts out.  I am sure there is a scientific reason for this, but at this point, I personally cannot see why! Just embrace it, and know it’s not forever!
NOTE: This should not have an odor, if so consult your doctor!

Your body will never be the same, get over it

Prairie Wife: I’ve been able to loose the baby weight, get back into my clothes, and even regain my six pack after each Cowkid…so far. But, there are things that will never be the same. My belly button is no longer an iny but a sad saggy outy. After nursing 4 Cowkids my boobs can only be described as empty skin with nipples and are now what I call 34 AA long. I may have escaped stretch marks on my stomach but I’ve got a ton on my boobs, butt, and thighs. Take a deep breath ladies, when all these changes start to get to you, look at that beautiful baby you made, that person that you gave life and nourished inside of you for 9 months. Know that it was a job well done. Also, put down the magazines and take a look at the real people around you. All the moms at the pool or the beach look just like you…beautiful!

TallGirlJ: I am not as lucky and Prairie Wife as I struggle more to lose the baby weight. But, after lots of effort I can get to a good point yet still never be the same. I have never nursed longer than 2 weeks and my boobs are still not the same, its just pregnancy. So know whether or not you nurse, they will grow and stretch no matter what! Stretch marks are going to happen, and if you are lucky your feet will grow too…just like mine! In the end it’s totally worth it. Wear your changes like a badge of honor. I know I have earned every part of my new body.

Shout it out ladies, what pregnancy symptom do you wish you had know about?!

Copyright: creatista / 123RF Stock Photo
Copyright: ninamalyna / 123RF Stock Photo

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11 thoughts on "5 Things They Never Told You About Pregnancy"

  1. Erica says:

    So funny! My mom must not remember being pregnant, because she asked me to help her move when I was about 7 months along. I showed up and said just don’t have me do anything that involves getting on the floor! She looked at me like I was crazy.
    Also, for those of you looking for more reading of the same nature, check out “Girlfriends Guide to Pregnancy!” You will laugh!

    1. Prairie Wife says:

      Moving at all gets to be quite the workout at the end, heck even going up the stairs holding a toddler can wind ya! I’ve heard that book is a fun read 🙂

  2. College BFF says:

    My pregnancy symptom that I wish I had known about is pretty much losing my brain. It made it very difficult at work and forgetting everything is super annoying.

    1. Prairie Wife says:

      I know I totally…wait what was I saying….?

  3. Nichole says:

    Ah, yes, the drippy under carriage. Sigh. And here I though I would have a lovely 9 month break from feminine hygiene products. No rest for the wicked…… we just had to eat that piece of delicious apple all those centuries ago, didn’t we. Bet’cha don’t think a taste of apple is that great now.

    Let’s also remember the awful dr exams at the end of pregnancy…. I actually felt as though they were trying to do dental work by reaching up through my….. well never mind. Anything for those cute little smushy wiggly giggly little bundles of JOY!

    And lastly the waiting game at the end… my little stinkers (yes twins) decided to start dilation at 36 weeks ! HURRAY! I was so happy they were trying to meet their mommy and daddy, but a week later, no further progress. Not even one cm! You would thinks after mommy had to endure the “awful exam” , her sweet little babies would give her at least 1 more cm, but noooooo! That was just too much to ask! And so the waiting continued until the magical day of induction…. Wait…. that hurts too, doesn’t it!

    1. Prairie Wife says:

      I know sigh…it feels like they go in up to their elbow! And the awful fact that you can be dilated for weeks on end with no change (especially with those stubborn first babies) will be on our 5 things they don’t tell you about labor post!

  4. Gabriella says:

    It’s true, isn’t it? Liars! Bastardone! (No translation needed) The pregnant ones are like a secret club until you join and are completely overwhelmed by the hazing ritual. It was one horrifying surprise after the next!

    Thanks you for dragging the truth about pregnancy into the light of day. I remember being in my 20s and asking my mother how it was to be pregnant with me. Her answer–“Gabby, I don’t remember. I’ve completely blocked out the whole experience.” Gee, nice Mom!

    Best wishes to both of you as you head into the home stretch. Here’s wishing you good sleep, no sneezing and a fabulous pair of heels post-birthing!

    1. Prairie Wife says:

      Lol I am SO using that as my word of the week 😉

  5. Sarah says:

    let’s talk about the night terrors: namely leg cramps.

    OH MY LORDS.
    “It burns! Mother it burns!”
    So many pregnancy symptoms seem to remind me of The Exorcist… Just me?

    1. Prairie Wife says:

      Oh my lol! I woke The Cowboy up just last weekend with loud vulgar swearing when I got one in the arch of my foot! I find drinking Detox Water (we have a great recipe on our blog) helps because of the lemon, and a banana a day 🙂

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